In life there are no facts only interpretations!!!!!
I feel guilty of not having given you the love and attention that I could always sense was expected by you from me, I always wanted to but I guess I was a weak character who could never get out of her past, Was it a bad “ Time circle’, or ‘astrological stars’ were not in favor, difference of city age or mentality ,my ‘baggage’ or your “imaginations for your partner ” that ruined it all so badly….. The winter when it started the winter when it came to and end, what resulted in experiencing this sour burnt taste in mouth ,the extreme love - hate, heartful laughter and agonized cry ,how the eyes filled with love changed to expression of disgust !!
anger,irritation,frustration,helplessness,humiliation,the suffocation, the guilt the innocent trial to make it work till last breath ,the stubbornness of heart, the reactions over each others action!!!the painful agony when we both were right at our own prospective, we could even understand each other but we often doubted each others intentions . ..
You thought me so "CLEVER" which I was not so and ended up making" wicked "You were not that "EVIL", but I ended up making you "DEVIL"
Many sorry, put together can not help us forgiving each other for the pain we caused in each others nerve.At one instant everything look so perfect other end it looks like a fall out.It was a beautiful world based without base. Our special favors to our own liking and then pushing each other to like it too
What went wrong we both know our part and we assume the others part?
Assumption another thing that went wrong, your line on the first drive “I love my space “ gave me a clue you would give your partner space too .and u saw me and judged me from my stories to be simple girl and away from the evil world girl to be crisp “marriage material “ which I was ,but with experience of past was in full mood to change it ,in fact step to go on long drive with you was a step to that only ,
I don’t deny that I was carrying my baggage of past ,you knew it all ,but it was going with the love you were putting in,but I needed “trust “ and “appreciation” may be I dint deserve it but I wanted it.all I got was lot n lot of love but with no trust and no respect ,and then our own grey shade started creating gap,your typical habit of cross checking and my typical habit of making more mistake when I am checked ,and my doing things only forsake of doing without understanding without meaning ,just a way to avoid fight and win over a point for next argument …and as u said half hearted things bears no result.
It wasn’t so I was insensitive or emotional less, I was serious enough but not sincere, it was like writing without interest or like doing engineering when u wanted to be model, 90% I have put in every thing I had, to win over u ,to save the relationship where I invested a lot, but remaining 10% anger flared me to think and speak ina wrong way .
The love, importance, priority and undivided attention I got from you has no comparison, I know I cant have it ever again ….a life style any one would envy (except few limitations)
To me you hated every thing i loved and so I started being indifferent to everything u liked ,I thought u like yo see me hurt alwaz,bcz u always asked why I smile with others ,and not u ,and you expected me to make face and cry after we fought ,and had problems if I look ok .
Now it looks like an evil scheme played with us, which caused us this doomed relationship
I often wondered , if I deserve the kind of importance that u gave me,we got into relationship but path to become soul mate was far. in fact not visible ,I was still to get out of the mode of being pampered and baby sat,like it happened in first few month of our relationship,the silent estrangement was killing two of us .
A mistake a girl does I did too entered the relationship casually expecting it to end soon,and not accepting it in front of my circle , couldn’t handle stress at all and ended up screwingthe whole situation ,was happily accepting the good things but was having lines on forehead what I dint like in u.exaggarting the “the glorious past”enjoyingthe princess treatment forgetting I have to give it back too,and when time to give back came I wanted to run away …..when I faked I was caught…..so frustrated I lied & then u made me tied !!we got at worst !!!and it doomed it all !!!
